Resources for parents: foster care, adoption, & those considering!

The Watching👀Resources!


What every parent needs to know

 This is a great video series produced by Empowered to Connect and the late Dr. Karen Purvis. You will be so glad you took the time to watch! 

Parent video

Adverse Childhood Experiences TedTalk

 Adverse childhood experiences can mean many things. Firstly, new evidence on the prevalence of adverse childhood experiences will be presented.. Secondly, research will be presented which demonstrates a direct link between the level of adversity in childhood and worse outcomes in adulthood. Thirdly ways to prevent and respond to childhood adversity and support victims will be presented.  

TedTalk video

Taking a new look at our expectations

 As we encounter challenges and struggles, many of us discover that much of our frustration and disappointment is rooted in unrealistic expectations.

Watch as Michael Monroe provides insight into the importance of realistic expectations and how by holding our expectations loosely, we can actually begin to make progress toward healing and connection.

Expectations video

Removed-3 part mini series

This is hard to watch, trust me. However, it will give you a good inside look at what those "hard places" we talk about really look like. It can even help explain some of the unexplainable behaviors. It will do us all good to put ourselves in their shoes and empathize with their pain. Please, WATCH this series no matter how hard it is because just imagine...it was even harder for them to live through it.

Removed video series

The Reading📚Resources

Recommended Reading


In this section you will find a list of books that are a great resource for every foster or adoptive parent.

Recommended Reading

Resources for Parents


In this section we have articles written specifically with foster and adoptive parents in mind! They are helpful for those who are considering the journey as well as those seasoned parents. 


Especially for Dads


Being a foster or adoptive dad can bring its own unique challenges. Look at the bottom of the resource section for articles that will be just for dads!

Just for Dads

Considering Foster Care?


If you are considering foster care we rejoice with your decision and we want you to know that we are your "village"! However, before you make the call or sign the papers, you need to pray about this big family decision. Then there are some questions you need to think about...after that, my suggestion is for you to watch the THREE part series Removed and PRAY some more! 

*The video series is linked at the end of the article or you can find the link button in the "watching resources" section on this page.

Pray, Ask, Watch, Pray

Foster Parent Bill of Rights


Foster parents have great responsibilities, but they also have rights. Everyone should know their rights as they navigate through the court systems advocating for the rights of the children in their care. 

After you read YOUR rights please visit the OK State Legislature site, find your reps and ask why our state has ZERO foster child rights (even though legislation was adopted by 15 other states at a National conference in 2014). Seriously, there's plenty already written, we just need to adopt it so our kids have protection! Read more about that at the National Conference of State Legislatures 

Read your rights

Considering Foster Care?

10 Questions for Parents Preparing to Foster or Adopt


 By Michael Monroe Oct 17,2011

The following questions are designed to help parents (and parents-to-be) begin to honestly assess the journey ahead…and what it will require. We encourage you to thoughtfully and prayerfully consider these questions. They are not meant to scare you or in any way discourage you from continuing on this amazing path. Instead, our desire is simply that these questions will point you toward the hope and help that you need to form a strong and lasting connection with your child as you faithfully follow God’s call in your life.

1. Are you willing to acknowledge and fully embrace your child’s history, including that which you know and that which you will likely never know?

2. Are you willing to accept that your child has been affected by his/her history, possibly in profound ways, and as a result that you will need to parent your child in a way that exhibits true compassion and promotes connection and healing?

3. Are you willing to parent differently than how you were parented, how you have parented in the past, or how your friends parent their children? Are you willing to “un-learn” certain parenting strategies and approaches that may not be effective with your child, even if you have used these strategies and approaches successfully with your other children in the past?

4. Are you willing to educate yourself, your parents, family and friends on an ongoing basis in order to promote understanding of your child’s needs and how best to meet those needs?

5. Are you willing to be misunderstood, criticized and even judged by others who do not understand your child’s history, the impacts of that history and how you have been called to love and connect with your child in order to help him/her heal and become all that God intends?

6. Are you willing to advocate for your child’s needs, including at school, church, in extracurricular settings and otherwise, in order to create predictability and promote environments that enable your child to feel safe and allow him/her to succeed?

7. Are you willing to sacrifice your own convenience, expectations and desires in order to connect with your child and help him/her heal, even if that process is measured in years, not months?

8. Are you willing to fully embrace your child’s holistic needs, including his/her physical, emotional, relational and spiritual needs?

9. Are you willing to seek ongoing support and maintain long-term connections with others who understand your journey and the challenges that you face? Are you willing to intentionally seek and accept help when you encounter challenges with your child that you are not equipped to adequately deal with?

10. Are you willing to acknowledge that you as a parent bring a great deal to the equation when it comes to how your child will attach and connect? Are you willing to honestly examine (on an ongoing basis) your motivations and expectations relating to your adoption journey? Are you willing to look at your own past (including your past losses and trauma, both big and small) and consider how your past may impact your interactions with your child? Are you willing to consistently examine your role as parent as you experience challenges and difficulties along the journey?

As you read through the above questions, you may have concluded that some of the questions don’t apply to you and your situation? That may be the case to some extent, as every adoption and foster care experience is unique. However, we encourage you to spend some time reading and talking with other experienced adoptive and foster parents about what you should realistically expect as you travel this journey. We find that parents sometimes start with less than accurate assumptions about how the adoption or foster care journey will unfold, and as a result they are more likely to form unrealistic expectations. We believe that these questions are helpful and instructive for all parents considering or pursuing adoption and foster care, and we hope that as you work through them they will lead you toward greater insight and understanding.

This resource was originally posted at Empowered To Connect.

Removed Pt 1

Removed Pt 2

Removed Pt 3




  1.  By: - January 23, 2014  

“Let’s try that again” is a phrase heard daily at our house. With six kids in our home, we are always looking for simple ways to correct our kid’s unwanted behaviors without seeming like we are always correcting them. One great tool we use is to simply have our kids redo a behavior. It is amazing how well it works, and how quickly kids catch on.

Redo’s are a wonderful tool for reshaping behavior. They help a child feel successful and activate motor memory.*

Here’s what a redo looks like at our house

Unwanted Action – A child comes running into the house and slams the door behind him. Mom says, “Whoa!  Let’s try that again. Please go back outside and walk into the house without slamming the door behind you.” Then the child goes out and does the correct behavior.

Unwanted Words – A child yells at another child and calls them a “big meany” for not letting them have the toy they want. Mom overhears and says, “Hey that’s not a kind way to speak to one another. Can you try that again with good words?” Ideally the child will redo it with something like, “I don’t like it when you don’t share. Can I please use that toy when you are finished?” If the redo is not said in a kind way, you can help your child by giving an example of a kind way of speaking.

Keys to making this tool effective are:

  1. Keep your voice upbeat and kind.
  2. Try to refrain from lecturing your child about why what they did was wrong.
  3. Be sure to “redo” it until the wanted behavior is achieved.  (This is especially important when using this strategy with disrespectful or unkind words.  We don’t want them to continue practicing it the wrong way.)
  4. Praise your child for doing it correctly! (even if it took 10 times)
  5. I know this seems so simple, but it is really very effective. We have been doing this long enough with our kiddos, that often times they will ask for a “redo” without being prompted by us.*p.98 The Connected Child

This post originally appeared on onebighappyhome.com



  By: - January 20, 2014 

Here is an article that Michael Monroe wrote a few years ago remembering the impact that Dr. King and others had on so many – including transracial families. We re-post it today in Dr. King’s honor.

Yesterday morning my daughter awoke to the sound of me singing softly in her ear.

“I love your beautiful brown hair…I love your beautiful brown eyes…I love your beautiful brown skin…” Not really a song, I suppose. Just something sweet that came to my mind to help her welcome the new day.

It didn’t bother her that I don’t have any singing talent. It was simply one of those sweet “daddy daughter moments” that seem to be ever more infrequent as she gets older and life gets more hurried.

As she came to she rolled over and stretched and then said, “Daddy, I have a question.”

“Sure, what is it?”

“If Martin Luther King hadn’t given that speech – you know the one, right?”

“Of course…” I replied, interested to hear what was coming next.

“The ‘Dream’ speech , you know? And if he hadn’t gotten the laws changed…would I be considered black or white – because I am really in between?”

Wow, that wasn’t what I was expecting for the first question of the morning from my seven-year old daughter whom we adopted from Guatemala years ago.

“That’s a great question,” I replied. “You know, if he hadn’t given that speech and together with others hadn’t spoken up for the rights of all people to be treated fairly and equally, then a lot of things would be very different today. In fact, white mommies and daddies like us may not have been allowed to adopt brown and black children, and that means that our family may not have even been possible.”

“So you mean that you and mommy wouldn’t have been able to adopt us just because I am brown and so are my brothers?” she asked, wanting to clarify.

“Probably not.”

“And what about my school? Would it be a ‘white’ school or a ‘black’ school?” she continued.

“Oh, I don’t know…but it sounds like you have been thinking a lot about what you have been learning at school,” I said.

“Yeh. I am really glad he gave that speech,” she continued.

“I am too; I am too.”

This brief conversation was a timely reminder of what can be very easy to forget. Not so long ago what I too often take for granted – the fundamental equality of all people under the law – was only still a dream in this country. But because men and women, boys and girls of every color joined hands to dream and to march and even to die, today my family, together with so many other transracial families, are able to be a family and live that dream.

And yet we can never forget that the dream is not fully realized – and it won’t be this side of heaven. So the challenge remains for each of us to be counted worthy and found faithful to fight against injustice wherever it is found, until all of God’s children, in the words of Dr. King, “will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual: Free at last, Free at last, Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!

This post appeared on Tapestry.com

Especially for Dads

Empowered By His Strength



 By: - May 27, 2016  

We are a nation of innovators and pioneers. We are builders and explorers. We’ve been to the moon and we continue to explore space. We like to look forward and we don’t like to look back. We are always looking for the next big thing and the next new thing.

The pioneer spirit has many wonderful things about it and is responsible for many innovations in science, technology, medicine, and entertainment, but that spirit, like most things, can be a double-edged sword.

It’s a double-edged sword because it teaches us to rely on our own strength. It teaches us that “if it’s to be then it’s up to me” and it teaches us to “pull ourselves up by our bootstraps” in times of trouble and keep moving forward. There is nothing wrong with moving forward, progress is typically a wonderful thing, but the danger of the pioneer spirit is that it can cause us to believe that we are a power unto ourselves. That all of the answers lie within us. It can cause us to become our own idols and not rely on the power of the Holy Spirit that lives in us.

I am not a good husband and I am not a good father when I try to do both of those things in my own strength. I am not patient and I am not always kind in my response when I rely on myself. I am able to be patient and kind when I get out of the way of the indwelling, powerful spirit. I am able to see my kids needs and who they are and what they are capable of when I am empowered by God’s unlimited resources supplied by the Holy Spirit.


Lord, too often I want to rely in my own strength. Too often I try to find a way to do things that seem right to me. You have empowered me with your spirit. Please let me get out of the way and let your spirit lead em and empower me.

In Jesus name, Amen

“I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit.” – Ephesians 3:16 (NLT)

Holy Bible. New Living Translation copyright© 1996, 2004, 2007, 2013 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Originally posted on Tapestry.com

Surprised by Foster Care


 By Jason Johnson

It's virtually impossible to fully prepare someone to become a foster parent. It's too nuanced and complex of an issue to prescribe a certain formula to it. This doesn't mean parents shouldn't be properly trained and prepared; it just means that while certain things are universally true and can be anticipated, most things are not when it comes to the messy and hard and raw of real peoples lives. You simply can't script it; you can only live it - discover it - a little bit at a time.

I've found that foster care has the unique ability to be everything you hoped it would be and nothing you thought it would all at the same time. Expectations simultaneously go exceeded and unmet. It affirms things you knew were true, challenges things you thought were true and teaches you things you didn't even know needed to be true. It's an incubator of learning and struggling and questioning and growing.

I didn't really know what to expect going into foster parenting, but in many regards it's not what I thought it would be and is so much more than I hoped it would be. Here's five ways, among many others, foster care has surprised me:


Everything about foster care is somehow equal parts beauty and brokenness. Everything. Very quickly the excitement of having a child placed in your home is tempered by the tragedy that has led them there. We know it's a good thing they are with us, but somehow an equally bad thing they need to be. Even the victories sometimes feel like tragedies, because none of this should be happening in the first place. This is the deep, soul-wrenching tension of foster care, bearing too much brokenness to be ignored and too much beauty to be hidden.    


Foster care is less about getting a child for your family and more about giving your family for a child. That's not to say a family can't grow through foster care - it sometimes does - or that a family doesn't receive much through foster care - it no doubt can. It is to say, however, that our first call is to give, not receive - to open ourselves up fully, embrace the implications freely and crucify our expectations completely.


We are not merely participating in broken human stories but in fractured spiritual ones as well. No longer silent spectators, we are now active participants in the tension of an unseen battle in which the enemy is not birth parents or broken systems, but in the grand unseen spiritual world of things, is Satan who wants to steal, kill and destroy that which is good. (John 10:10) You can feel it through and through. The tension of the unseen battle is thick. Foster care is spiritual warfare.


Foster care is just as much about pulling a child out of a broken story as it is about being pulled into one. It's about humanizing those we are often quick to demonize, embracing those we are often quick to turn from and seeing a side of humanity that although vastly different in experience from ours is no less ours to own. It's about loving kids from hard places and even - sometimes especially - stepping into hard places in order to love those that have created them.  


No one is strutting their way through foster care; we're all limping in some way - certainly the kids, their families, case workers, the "system" and even (sometimes especially) us. At some point we come to the realization that it's not so much "us" helping "them" - it's just "us", together - all uniquely broken humans, wired for struggle, worthy of grace and in this thing called life together. 

 Originally posted on Jason Johnson Blog

Just For Foster Dads (Part 1)



Dr. John N. DeGarmo, Ed.D.

Without a doubt, fathers are just as important to the nurturing and development of a child in foster care as a mother.  Yet, much research has shown that the love of a father is different than that of a mother.  Leading child psychologist Erik Erikson stated that a father's love and a mother's love are quite different, indeed, when he said that fathers "love more dangerously" because their love is more "expectant, more instrumental" than a mother's love.”  To be sure, successful foster fathers, or foster dads, recognize that they need to utilize different abilities, skills, and resources when working with children in foster care.

The placement of a child into your foster home is a life changing experience for a foster child.  Placement disruption is the term used when a child is removed from a home and placed into the custody of a child welfare agency, and thus into a foster home.  For many, it is a frightening time, as the fear of the unknown can quickly overwhelm a child.  Others are filled with anger, as they emotionally reject the idea of being separated from their family members. Feelings of guilt may also arise within the foster child, as the child may believe that he or she may have had something to do with the separation from the birth and/or foster family. Some children experience self doubt, as they feel that they simply did not deserve to stay with their family. For all, it is a traumatic experience that will forever alter the lives of foster children.  

As a foster dad, it is important to properly prepare for the child’s arrival beforehand, if possible.  While there are certainly those times when you do not get much, if any notice before a child is placed in your home, as a phone call might only give you a few moments notice.  Yet, if you do have time, try to get as much background information as you possibly can about the child in foster care that is being placed into your home, and into your family.  Perhaps the most important thing you can do to prepare for the arrival of a foster child is to educate yourself with as much background information and history as you can about the child.  Do not be concerned if you have a large number of questions for your caseworker when you are first approached about of a placement of a child in your house.  While the caseworker may not have all the answers, you will find valuable information by asking.  

After all, the more information you have, the better prepared you are to help meet the child’s needs.  Some questions to consider include:

 -How old is the child?
 -Why is the child in care?
 -How long might the child stay with you?
 -Will the child need day care supervision?
 -Does the child have any learning disabilities or special needs of any kind?
 -Does the child have any anger management or extreme emotional issues that you need to be aware of?
 -Is this the first time the child has been in foster care?
 -Is the child’s medical shots up to date?  Are there any medical concerns?
 -Is the child from the same town?  Does the child need to be enrolled in your local school system?        
 -Does the child have clothes?  Will you need to buy diapers and baby wipes?

Role Model

As a foster dad, it is important that you embrace being a role model for your foster child.  Indeed, you may very likely be the first positive role model the child has had in his life.  So many children come into foster care from broken homes and broken families, suffering from neglect, abuse, and abandonment.  For thousands of these children, their concept of a loving parent has been twisted, distorted, and perverted by the abuses and experiences they previously had before moving into your home.  For some children, you will be the first father figure in their lives, while others will compare you to the father or father figure that they were living with previously.  Whatever the situation, these children will be watching your every move and every action, and listening to your every word as they learn from you what a loving and caring father is supposed to be like.  You are this example; you need to be that loving and caring father for them.

Duties and Responsibilities

For many years, the perception of the stereotypical father figure was that of breadwinner and disciplinarian.  The father would go to work during the day, come home after a long day at work to a cooked meal by his wife, place his feet up on the couch after dinner, read the paper and watch the evening news.  Along with this, he might dole out some discipline to the unruly child in the home, all the while leaving the housework and child raising to the mother in the home.  Today’s foster fathers must be much more involved in all areas of child care, not only for the benefit of the foster child, but for the benefit of all who live in the home, as well as the marriage, itself.  After all, a marriage is a partnership, and those partnerships that share the responsibilities in a 50-50 ratio are the ones that are the healthiest and strongest.

Children begin to learn how to form healthy and positive relationships with others during infancy.  Sadly, for many children in foster care, these opportunities did not come when they were babies, and as a result, the child in care struggles greatly when trying to form a healthy relationship with another.  When a baby or infant is placed into a foster home, foster dads should help with the feeding of the baby.  The time spent with a baby while feeding it is often instrumental in good mental health, as it can be a time of laughter and joy, sharing fun moments over a bowl of baby food, or while holding a child in one arm and a bottle in the other.  Indeed, babies and infants learn about trust as they are nurtured during this time.  Dinner time and/or bottle time can be instrumental in helping a foster infant develop feelings of trust and love, and a foster father can help to lead the way in this.  Furthermore, nothing spells love to a small baby than the father, or foster father, singing to the child; telling stories; and simply acting silly with the little one.

Along with this, foster dads can take a small child on solo errands with him.  Trips to the grocery store, public library, hardware store, or mall are opportunities to bond with the child, as well as give the foster mother some much needed time off.  A good foster dad is also one who learns about child development and the stages that correspond with this.          

Learning about Love

Sadly, many children in foster care come from homes where violence reigned.  Profanity, abuse, and harsh words filled the air that surrounded a child.   Additionally, where love was to be a child’s cornerstone, there was neglect instead, as the basic needs of the child were not met, and where the emotion of love was instead substituted with just the opposite.  Along with this, there  may be those foster children who have had poor examples of fatherhood in their lives, resulting in poor examples of so called “manliness.”  There are those who may believe that a real man does not express love, does not state that he loves someone, or even grant a hug to another under the misguided belief of weakness.  For these children, the understanding of parental love, of unconditional love is an unknown one.  Unconditional love is simply being loved without restrictions or stipulations.  For a foster child who may have been abused, beaten, or neglected, this type of love is most important.  Without this type of love, a foster child will not form necessary and healthy attachment with others, resulting in a number of attachment disorders.  Foster children who suffer from these disorders will have great difficulty connecting with others, as well as managing their own emotions, not only during their childhood and time in foster care, but many times throughout the remainder of their lives.  Emotional difficulties such as a of lack of self worth, trust, and the need to be in control often result in the lack of unconditional and healthy parental love.  As anyone who has worked with foster children will tell you, most foster children face an enormous amount of emotional issues, many times stemming from the lack of healthy love.

More than anything, a foster child wishes one thing and has one desire; to be loved.  Foster dads can protect the child from harm, provide a safe and secure home, offer nutritious meals, and open up a doorway of opportunities for foster children, granting them new and exciting experiences that they may never have dreamed of.  Yet, with all of this, with all of the wonderful opportunities and safe environments, foster children really crave love the most.   They want to be loved.  After all, every child deserves to be loved.  Not only do children deserve love, they need it in order to grow in a healthy fashion.  While there are many forms of love, the strongest one, and most important for a foster child, is that of unconditional love.  Sadly, many children in foster care either do not receive this love at all, or receive it too late, after too much emotional damage has been done.  

With this in mind, it is especially important for a foster dad to communicate love to their foster children at all opportunities, and in a variety of ways.   A strong foster dad is one who is not afraid to say “I love you” to his wife, to his children, and to his foster children.  These simple words, these three words, can make a significant difference to a child who has only known violence and abuse.  Along with this, foster dads need to be nurturing to the foster children in their home, as well.  When needed, foster dads need to be comforting to a child in need, gentle in his words and actions.  After all, this may be the only positive example of a loving father that the foster child may ever have.

Originally posted on Foster Focus, Volume 3 Issue 5 

Removed 3 part series

Per YouTube description: 

 We made ReMoved with the desire that it would be used to serve in bringing awareness, encourage, and be useful in foster parent training, and raising up foster parents.  

Taking a New Look at Your Expectations


As we encounter challenges and struggles, many of us discover that much of our frustration and disappointment is rooted in unrealistic expectations.

Watch as Michael Monroe provides insight into the importance of realistic expectations and how by holding our expectations loosely, we can actually begin to make progress toward healing and connection. Foster care. How to become a foster parent.

Originally posted on Tapestry.com

 Adverse childhood experiences can mean many things. Firstly, new evidence on the prevalence of adverse childhood experiences will be presented.. Secondly, research will be presented which demonstrates a direct link between the level of adversity in childhood and worse outcomes in adulthood. Thirdly ways to prevent and respond to childhood adversity and support victims will be presented.  Learn more at http://ted.com/tedx 

What Every Adoptive Parent Should Know

 By: - November 18, 2011 

In order to truly understand ‘children from hard places’ — what they have experienced, the impact of those experiences and how we as parents can help them heal and grow — it’s important that we understand some of the basics.  That’s why Empowered To Connect put together this collection of eight short videos — to introduce (or re-introduce) you to some of the most important basics that we believe every adoptive parent can benefit from.



Video #3

Video #4

Video #5

Video #6

Video #7

Video #8

Recommended Reading


 We try to keep this list updated by adding new resources as we become aware of them. Please keep checking back and feel free to email us suggestions!

  1. The Connected Child, co-authored by Dr. Karyn Purvis, Book – This was the first parenting type book I read during our adoption process. It gave me the opportunity to look at my child with compassion, to look for ways to connect, and to consider how my actions and past effect my parenting. A must read for every adoptive parent.
  2. Created to Connect: A Christian’s Guide to The Connected Child, Study Guide – Through Tapestry, I have participated in a summer women’s group where we go through this study guide along with the book, The Connected Child. Each time I go through the group I am reminded of better ways to connect with my child and I am encouraged by learning along with other women with similar experiences. This is a great resource for small groups.
  3. The Whole Brain Child, co-authored by Dan Seigel, Book – Daniel J. Siegel, M.D. and Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D., offer twelve revolutionary strategies to nurture your child’s developing mind. It is an excellent resource to help parents understand how a child’s brain develops and functions, and how they can help their child learn how to handle and respond to different experiences and challenges. There is  a link to a collection of parent discussion guides and blog posts for each chapter of the book at : http://empoweredtoconnect.org/the-whole-brain-child/
  4. Anatomy of the Soul, by Curt Thompson, M.D., Book – This book teaches you how to recognize what is going on with yourself and how to foster growth within yourself. You can in turn apply what you learn about yourself to your children. These are some great posts that go along with the reading of this book: one, two, three.
  5. Wounded Children, Healing Homes: How Traumatized Children Impact Adoptive and Foster Familes (2009), by Jayne E. Schooler, Betsy Keefer Smalley, Timothy J. Callahan
  6. The Out-of-Sync Child (Revised Ed., 2006),  by Carol Kranowitz
  7. The Out-of-Sync Child Has Fun: Activities for Kids with Sensory Processing Disorder (Revised Ed., 2006), by Carol Kranowitz
  8. Emotionally Healthy Spirituality: It's Impossible to Spiritually Mature, While Remaining Emotionally Immature. by  Peter Scazzero This book challenges you to bring heart and mind together. Sometimes we like to gloss over hurts and ignore them, but they don't ignore us. They affect everything we do and think. We cannot grow in Christ as long as we bury ourselves emotionally.

Foster Parent’s Bill of Rights


§10A-1-9-119. Statement of foster parent’s rights.A statement of foster parent’s rights shall be given to every foster parent annually and shall include, but not be limited to, the right to:

  1. Be treated with dignity, respect, and consideration as a professional member of the child welfare team;
  2. Be notified of and be given appropriate, ongoing education and continuing education and training to develop and enhance foster parenting skills;
  3. Be informed about ways to contact the state agency or the child-placing agency in order to receive information and assistance to access supportive services for any child in the foster parent’s care;
  4. Receive timely financial reimbursement for providing foster care services;
  5. Be notified of any costs or expenses for which the foster parent may be eligible for reimbursement;
  6. Be provided a clear, written explanation of the individual treatment and service plan concerning the child in the foster parent’s home, listing components of the plan pursuant to the provisions of the Oklahoma Children’s Code;
  7. Receive, at any time during which a child is placed with the foster parent, additional or necessary information that is relevant to the care of the child;
  8. Be notified of scheduled review meetings, permanency planning meetings, and special staffing concerning the foster child in order to actively participate in the case planning and decision-making process regarding the child;
  9. Provide input concerning the plan of services for the child and to have that input be given full consideration in the same manner as information presented by any other professional on the team;
  10. Communicate with other foster parents in order to share information regarding the foster child. In particular, receive any information concerning the number of times a foster child has been moved and the reasons why, and the names and telephone numbers of the previous foster parent if the previous foster parent has authorized such release;
  11. Communicate with other professionals who work with the foster child within the context of the team including, but not limited to, therapists, physicians, and teachers;
  12. Be given, in a timely and consistent manner, any information regarding the child and the child’s family which is pertinent to the care and needs of the child and to the making of a permanency plan for the child. Disclosure of information shall be limited to that information which is authorized by the provisions of Chapter VI of the Oklahoma Children’s Code for foster parents;
  13. Be given reasonable notice of any change in or addition to the services provided to the child pursuant to the child’s individual treatment and service plan;
  14. a. Be given written notice of:

(1)  plans to terminate the placement of the child with the foster parent pursuant to Section 1-4-805 of this title, and(2)  the reasons for the changes or termination in placement.

  1. The notice shall be waived only in emergency cases pursuant to Section 1-4-805 of this title;
  2. Be notified by the applicable state agency in a timely and complete manner of all court hearings, including notice of the date and time of any court hearing, the name of the judge or hearing officer hearing the case, the location of the hearing, and the court docket number of the case;
  3. Be informed of decisions made by the court, the state agency or the child-placing agency concerning the child;
  4. Be considered as a preferred placement option when a foster child who was formerly placed with the foster parent is to reenter foster care at the same level and type of care, if that placement is consistent with the best interest of the child and other children in the home of the foster parent;
  5. Be provided a fair, timely, and impartial investigation of complaints concerning the certification of the foster parent;
  6. Be provided the opportunity to request and receive a fair and impartial hearing regarding decisions that affect certification retention or placement of children in the home;
  7. Be allowed the right to exercise parental substitute authority;
  8. Have timely access to the appeals process of the state agency and child placement agency and the right to be free from acts of harassment and retaliation by any other party when exercising the right to appeal;
  9. Be given the number of the statewide toll-free Foster Parent Hotline;
  10. File a grievance and be informed of the process for filing a grievance; and
  11. Receive a copy of the liability insurance policy the Department of Human Services maintains for every Department-contracted foster home placement.
  12. The Department of Human Services and a child-placing agency under contract with the Department shall be responsible for implementing this section.
  13. Nothing in this section shall be construed to create a private right of action or claim on the part of any individual, the Department, the Office of Juvenile Affairs, or any child-placing agency.

Added by Laws 1997, c. 389, § 13, eff. Nov. 1, 1997. Amended by Laws 1998, c. 414, § 8, emerg. eff. June 11, 1998; Laws 1999, c. 396, § 13, emerg. eff. June 10, 1999; Laws 2000, c. 177, § 3, eff. July 1, 2000; Laws 2009, c. 233, § 98, emerg. eff. May 21, 2009. Renumbered from § 7206.1 of Title 10 by Laws 2009, c. 233, § 311, emerg. eff. May 21, 2009; Laws 2014, c. 134, § 1, eff. Nov. 1, 2014; Laws 2014, c. 257, § 4, eff. Nov. 1, 2014. 

Skin and Hair Care

The importance of hair

Most people who are not African American want to know why hair is so important. Dry skin is obvious, but why the hair? Barbara Tantrum from Northwest Trauma Counseling says it best:

 "You can’t discount hair and deal with it as white culture does, because if the child is going to be at all interacting with the black community you need to be sensitive to this.  Hair is how a girl shows status, parental love, and her sense of worth.  Caring for black hair takes time and resources, but it is critical in raising your girl.  This is a sensitive issue, and one that is a way to show love and racial sensitivity to your child of color". 

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